If he truly loves me, why is he still staring and admiring other women’s bodies even when am around?
Some weeks ago, I came across this question on quora. Jesica asked.
Why are guys always looking the other way? You feed them, love them and even house them, yet they almost break their necks at the sight of Kim Kardashian. They lust for street hawkers when you are not even getting any satisfaction from them. You’re there, ready and willing to stay till the end but once a man gets tired of you, nothing you do ever impresses him. Am getting frustrated. I need an answer.
You may also have found yourself in Jessica’s shoes or experienced something similar. And it didn’t just start there. I have heard many women ask this same question. So I feel good writing about it knowing that my words would most certainly be of great benefit to someone out there.
Why is he still turning around?
I’ll start by saying, do not let yourself be overcome by frustration else, it would change you to what you are not.
It is quite true that all men admire the curvaceous looks of Kim K, just as women also fancy the swim-trunk view of a David Beckham or Taylor Lautner. We are all fashioned to admire and appreciate what we don’t have and others do. That’s natures way. As annoying as it is, you must learn to understand that your man would always secretly admire some physical traits in other women especially if he still has some substantial amount of testosterone flowing in his veins. There is nothing wrong with that, if he doesn’t cross the red lines.
A man may love you and be so into you but that is not to say because he loves you so much, he wouldn’t cast a glance at other women’s cleavages or assets. Talking in general terms, it is normal for an average man to a few times feel these flash of urges. As a matter of specifics, some men are too shy to look, others naturally have a low drive towards women or are preoccupied with other things that shut almost permanently their gateway to sexual freedom.
But really stop being too apprehensive
A recent research have shown that women even check out the bodies of their fellow women much more than men do. The study which was carried out by University of Lincoln gave 33 female subjects eye-tracking devices to understand how women behave while looking at other women. Interestingly, it was found that females check out each other’s hips first before looking at any other segment of the body. Ouch! There is really no point arguing that.
The point is, how far are you willing to let your man’s eyes wander round sizing other women? How much confidence levels have you built in yourself and how much are you willing to tolerate this attitude from your man? When do you feel he has really crossed the red line and you really cannot take it anymore?
And I am not trying to vindicate men when have no drop of respect for their spouse or girlfriend. It is utterly wrong and so damn disrespectful walking on the alley with your girlfriend and turning around to check on the size of another woman’s behind. Men do this a lot and it’s a great turnoff for women with extreme cases leading to a breakup or even divorce.
How to deal with such situations
Communication is key to addressing such attitudes. If you have confidence issues in yourself, have been cheated on in the past or feel not too comfortable with some part of your body, let him know. Make him understand that you don’t approve of him acting that way and he should keep it low if you are around. Understand also that this is not going to change what he is thinking but at least you wouldn’t have to feel that bad anymore.
But if you have been noticing other signs that he seems less interested in you, then it wasn’t just a glance after all. I don’t think you need any help finding this out.
However, If he still loves and cares for you and your relationship is waxing in health, then there is nothing to worry about. The fact is there is always a woman with a nice looking rack in the hood and we men come across her everyday. But most times it stops right there and proceeds no further.
The best way in dealing with this is learning to joke about it. A lot of women do that and it works just perfectly. All men enjoy talking dirty at least a few times. By joking about it, you’d know exactly what he wants and hence understand him better and devise other ways to satisfy his needs. Also, he’d feel free talking to you about anything and there would be no secrets.