If you love me that much, be ready to join the queue

Many if not all men have at a point in life heard this phrase or experienced a relationship that portrays it. She seems to be preoccupied with someone or something else that takes a top priority in her life. But you love her so much that you never want to give her up just yet. So you just keep hoping that a time will come when all that will change. If you are such a man, then it means you had a choice and you willingly chose to be the backup boyfriend.


However, some women deliberately manipulate and use men for selfish benefits. She pretends to be in love with him just to have access to his wealth, fame or some other thing she needs that he can provide. In this case, he is unaware that he is not the main guy. He is just a backup boyfriend she falls back on when things don’t go as planned.

You want to know if you are a backup boyfriend or the main guy? Watch out for these signs.

1. She rejects any romantic moves and tells you it might come through in the future

Every woman should want a guy who is romantic, to say the least. But if she always rejects any romantic moves you make telling you it may come through in future, then your relationship is yet to begin. It may be only warming up on her mind or more likely you are a backup boyfriend.

2. Whenever she fights with her man, she runs crying on your shoulders

She may or may not confide in you but the signs are always there clearly for you to see. When things go wrong, she comes crying on your shoulders but then she goes back to that same guy, hurting you in the process. But she never minds if you get hurt or not. Watch your steps, she may only be using you as a backup boyfriend.

3. You are placed on the hook (she never rejects you outrightly)

She never said NO or ever said YES. MAYBE is the word she prefers to use all the time. She never wants you to leave yet her actions sometimes portray something else.

4. She feels jealous of you getting into another relationship

You have been dating for quite some years yet your status is not defined. Contrastingly, she doesn’t want to see you getting even a bit involved with other women.

5. She gives excuses when you ask her to come over

Some days, she goes OFF for no just reason. Giving flimsy excuses that hardly make any sense. If she does that every now and then, it means she is giving someone more attention than you. You may just be a backup boyfriend.

6. She excludes you in her social plans but keeps you active on her secret plans that involves just the two of you

All plans that involve you both are exclusive, so detailed and secretive. There is never anything spontaneous. If it is not planned all perfectly, it sure never goes through.

7. She can talk all day of her boyfriend but it never stops her from sometimes treating you like one

This is rather not a sign but a proof. She sure talks to you about him because you are the dispensable guy but would never speak of you to him if he is the main guy. It would be the other way round if you are the main guy and not the backup boyfriend.

8. She only comes to you when she wants something

It could be money, emotional support or she just wants to try something different with you.

But in all, it sums up to ‘needing you’ only at that moment and not because she is in love with you.

If her needs cannot be fulfilled by her main guy, then she comes running to her backup boyfriend.

9. She seems always distracted

The times you are supposed to be having your best moments, she is not even listening or paying attention. Her mind is always going wild in wonderment.

10. Your Intuition tells you

Something just keeps telling you she is cheating on you. Listen to your mind, it is what it is that your mind tells you. She takes you to a dinner or a party and just one guy present makes her want you both to leave the arena. Putting all these dots together would help you decipher if you are actually the main guy or only the backup boyfriend.

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