I met James in my first year in college. He seemed like a nice guy, handsome with tapered biceps, well groomed and interestingly rich. With him, I got everything I needed, but there was another side to his sweetness and public show of affection, He was extremely short tempered.

I was inexperienced

We both were freshmen with very little experience in relationships and life. Although James was two years older than I was. My friends who gave themselves a duty of trying to hook me up told me he liked me, I was hesitant but they insisted till I had to do their bidding. I got introduced to James and this was my first ever serious relationship.

Peer pressure from friends was what pushed me

It was barely two weeks when we had our first k!ss. I never really loved him initially, at least not as love was expected to be but it wasn’t long before I fell to his tricks. It wasn’t long before I got clingy, knowing quite well I was getting into a toxic relationship didn’t stop me. I tried all I could but could not break away. I think it was peer-pressure from my friends.

He started being touchy and I did not confront him, was scared more of being left alone. Sometimes he got moody, would even hit me or threaten to leave me but something inadvertently glued me to him. It was this kind of feeling like if he’d left me, my world would have ended.

Two months later, we started texting and face-timing each other. I wasn’t really into it but everyone was doing it so I tried not to be the only one left out. Three and four months, everyone knew us as a couple. He got introduced to my parents and everyone around me. By this time, we had done a lot of things together and it seemed as if it was too late for me to get out of it.

My worst relationship experience was more like a good lesson

We had dated barely five months when it happened, I was out in the sun waiting only for him to show up 30mins late with a girl in the front seat. To worsen it all, He introduced me to her as a family friend. I tried calming my nerves down but it seemed impossible for me.

Eventually, I confronted him and he had no explanation, didn’t even sound apologetic. Later found out that they were dating. That was when i knew I had to get out completely from such a toxic relationship. Two months after that, he was back on his knees pleading that I should forgive him.

Whenever I think of James, I often regret it. I regret not the decision of leaving the relationship but the time I had wasted with him. I regret falling so cheaply and offering myself to a f00l.

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